Before, During, After
by Bexmar
Summary: Following pure insticts, Kyouya gave an experimental twist of his hips and relished in the sound of Tamaki's pleasured gasp... Accepting feelings, Kyouya wants to remember how Tamaki looks before, during and after their first time together. Involves the use of pictures! Too weird? Don't read. For Zander.


**Before, During, After**

Whee, an Ouran High School Host Club yaoi lemon! Staring Tamaki and Kyouya! -throws confetti- Now, first and foremost, I need to get something out of the way:

**This fic is dedicated to my newly acquired big brother, Zander!** This is purely for you, bro! Whoo! -runs up wall and hangs from random chandelier- XD I was waiting to tell you the fic was dedicated to you when I actually posted it, soo...this should be a lovely surprise! :D Well, I hope I didn't disappoint with this, but read on, I say! READ ON!

Love you! -squee!-

_-TamakiKyouya-_

Kyouya was not happy.

Everyone else, on the other hand, was enjoying themselves well enough...in _his_ house. And for some reason he just could not fathom, they were also in _his_ room. He stared at them all in turn, trying to make them disappear...but to no avail.

There was the adorable Honey, jumping and dancing and singing in front of the T.V while playing Sing Star with an emotionless Mori, who couldn't hit the high notes with his deep, husky voice. Honey was the opposite, his high, girly voice being unable to reach the low notes. Still, they looked like they were having fun...well, Honey did.

The devilish twins were over in the corner, plotting up evil schemes that involved Haruhi in a revealing swimsuit, no doubt. The two were snickering away as if she wasn't sitting on the carpet beside them, reading a book and taking no interest in the pointless frivolities of the havoc surrounding her, much like Kyouya himself, though he was growing unsuccessful in ignoring the foolish behaviour of his peers.

Kyouya's gaze swept over Tamaki then, standing tall and proud and spouting some nonsense about what the next theme for the Host Club should be. No one payed any attention to him at all, not taking their eyes off of whatever activity they were already engaged in. Of course, Tamaki continued, either unaware of the club's lack of attention or just uncaring of it, deciding to speak anyway. His blonde hair flew about as he made outrageous gestures and motions, his voice carrying out above the shrieks of Honey and Mori and the loud 'whispering' of Hikaru and Kaoru.

And then there was Kyouya himself, sitting in the middle of this chaos like the eye of the storm. At first, all he did when Tamaki barged in with the Host Club in tow was stare in wonder and then assumed a mask that told everyone that he wasn't at all annoyed that they had come onto his property without permission or notice and taken over his room with vigorous energy.

It was 10:34 now on a Saturday night. When they had arrived, it had been around 7:10. They had been shouting and playing and creating an unbelievable noise for roughly three and a half hours. Kyouya's mask was starting to crack. He wanted to sleep. _Now._

No, Kyouya was definitely _not_ happy.

The angry vein above his forehead throbbed as his gaze stayed on Tamaki, bathing in the overwhelming irritation coming off him in powerful waves. Who did the blonde think he was? Unexpectedly showing up at the front gate, impulsively announcing that they were to have a club meeting at his house and not thinking to say something to him about it? It was all so..._maddening!_

What was he thinking?

Kyouya's eyes drifted everywhere on Tamaki's body, picking out everything he felt irritated him. His hair, the colour of gold, bounced around him wildly, prompted by his sudden movements. It blinded him in the sun as the warm rays reflected off and into his eyes in the morning, as that was when Tamaki had a habit of trying to pull him out of bed before his time to rise from the dead had come.

Those huge purple eyes told of false innocence. How could such an obnoxious, impulsive, incoherrant, inconsiderantly _infuriating_ person possibly be innocent? Unless God had changed the meaning, in which Tamaki would be no Angel; no, he must be the Devil's spawn.

Those long limbs of his were skinny and flippant. His grand gestures usually included mostly of out-spread arms, reaching lithely to the sky in emphasis of his huge ideas. His legs were graceful by appearance, but he knew Tamaki better; he was as clumsy as they came, his height almost getting in the way of making an impressive arrival. Of course, because of his great desire to start a Host Club, he had improved his clumsiness to avoid disappointing the customers. When the customers were gone, however, the clumsiness resurfaced with a vengeance.

Kyouya knew; he had been subjected to that clumsiness many times before.

And then Tamaki turned around with his back to him and ripped off his shirt, effectively gaining everyone's attention in just a few seconds.

"Eetto...senpai?" Haruhi began hesitantly, sweating slightly at the embarrassing exposure of Tamaki's skin, "What are you doing?" Tamaki's triumphant expression faded a bit as he took in her words and stopped his public strip.

"What do you mean, 'what am I doing?' Haven't you been listening? I am suggesting that we should hold a sleepover theme next time! It's wonderful, isn't it? All the young ladies will be able to marvle at my body, a gift God has given me to use to the fullest!"

He missed Haruhi mumble, "Modest much?" and spun to the rest of the Host Club. "What do you think? The genius at his best, am I right? Kyouya? How about it?" The Host Club King turned his head to look at his best friend, a childish grin on his face.

But Kyouya couldn't answer. He sat with his gaze transfixed on Tamaki, but he couldn't get his mouth to operate properly. His eyes, however, were working too much. They ravished Tamaki's body, taking in every inch of the exposed skin so fast it was as if they were seeing for the first time. All that Kyouya could really see was the whole top half of his body, but that was enough to make his stomach twist in an odd sort of _longing_ way. He traced the curve of Tamaki's back with his eyes, savouring the godly image. It was quickly becoming the favourite part of where he liked to look. That delicious-looking curve of the blonde's elegant back...

It was...sexy.

Dead sexy.

Kyouya mindlessly licked his lips as Tamaki repeated his question, the grin changing into a slightly confused state, but was still present. He took the time to first remember the question and then even more to get his unobedient eyes to stare Tamaki in the face. That proved to be a bigger mistake because when he looked into those bright purple eyes, he saw that he was wrong when he thought they annoyed him and found that instead, the purple orbs of colour actually lured him into their mesmerising depths. After many more agonising seconds, he finally shook his head slightly and answered the question.

"Well, why not? After all, that _does_ seem an interesting theme. And the exposure of skin may bring in even more profit." He shrugged, successfully feigning nonchalance. When he said the last sentence, his blood rippled with excitement at seeing more of Tamaki's skin.

Tamaki, staring right into Kyouya's face, flashed him the brightest, sunniest grin and it made his heart constrict tightly. Many times had his smile been directed at him, but...this was a somewhat different smile. More...sensual and inviting. Or at least, that's what Kyouya got out of that seductive smile.

"There you have it! We shall be holding a sleepover theme on Monday!"

Shaking the spell off him, the Shadow King cleared his throat and said, "Tamaki, that's a bit too soon. I need to get everything prepared first. Next week, perhaps the next Monday?"

"Muuuuuuuuuuum! Next week? That's soo far awaay! What about Wednesday? Is that too soon? Thursday at the latest!" Kyouya stared at him, the irritation seeping back slightly, but the sight of the annnoying blonde's skin kept it from progressing from a dull itch that he couldn't scratch. He rubbed his temple gentley.

Sighing aggravatingly, almost a growl, he replied, "Fine. I think I'll be able to get everything in by Thursday. But no sooner."

"Yaaaaaaay!" Without warning, Tamaki's arms were suddenly around him and his skin – oh God, that lovely soft skin! – pressed against him, rubbing slightly back and forth as Tamaki jumped up and down. Kyouya felt his own pale skin flame up into colour and a jolt of arousal surged through him. He struggled to control his suddenly ragged breath until the over-ecstatic blonde pulled away, that annoyingly beautiful grin plastered on his face. He spun back to the rest of the Host Club, spreading his arms out so that his wrist lightly nicked Kyouya's nose. Kyouya noticed, with some interest, a small shiver tingle its way across the skin.

"Alright, club! Meeting adjourned. Now its 'Dress Up Haruhi' time!" Tamaki announced as he put his shirt back on, much to Kyouya's disappointment.

"YAY!" Hikaru and Kaoru cheered, drowning out Haurhi's outraged cry.

"Waai! Can I help too, Tama-chan?" Honey asked happily, putting Usa-chan's ears into his mouth as he shimmied his way up Mori's long body to settle himself on his cousin's shoulders.

Kyouya finally had had enough. 'Dress Up Haruhi time?' No! He wanted them _all_ out of his house, or at the very least, out of his room so that he could sleep. He was tired from all their idiocy and he just wanted to drop off to sleep in his comfortable bed in the completely silent and still _dark_. Was that too much to ask?

Feeling defeated, he crawled over to his bed unnoticed and, falling on his face in the covers, left the rest of the Host Club to do what they wanted, completely unnaware of the hazy eyes that observed him tenderly.

_-TamakiKyouya-_

Tamaki didn't let himself be seen watching Kyouya. It would be too weird to the rest of the Host Club if they caught him watching. So instead, he immersed himself in his task of trying to get Haruhi into a cute pink dress he'd just so happened to have on him. She protested and squirmed so much that even the twins gave up on their hopeless endeavor and decided to just lie on the couch together watching another T.V, the volume turned up, with Kaoru nestled comfortabley into Hikaru's side.

_Yes, quite a devious pair, those two,_ thought Tamaki, smiling as he remembered when he first met them, _Perfect for each other._ He, too, gave up wrestling Haruhi into the clothes she didn't want to wear and sat down, sighing deeply as he listened to Honey dancing away to the music on the DDR game that he had switched it to. Mori held back in this game, choosing to watch Honey instead.

Tamaki frowned; it seemed everyone had some kind of other half except himself. Well...himself and Haruhi, he corrected, but Haruhi had her father and he knew the twins held a special place for her. She had gone home soon after she had managed to get away from him and the twins, not wanting to keep her father waiting too long. The blonde turned his head away from Mori and Honey, but they then landed on Kyouya's slim figure, asleep on his bed in the middle of the loud chaos.

With everyone else occupied, he let his thoughts wander freely, most of them centring around his dark best friend and the intensely electric feelings engulfing him everytime he looked at the raven-haired teenager. For as long as he'd been in Japan, he had felt a connection with him, but of course, it wasn't as strong as it was now. Over time, the connection had just grown and although Tamaki saw it as a some kind of progress, it was only progress with his own feelings, and he still had no idea how Kyouya himself felt.

Even worse, the near-unbearable feelings had developed an absolutely uncontrollable molten-hot passion that threatened to overwhelm him.

In short, Tamaki was horny for Kyouya.

He squeezed his eyes shut before his fantasies could get away on him, but it was already a bit too late. His thoughts went back to when he foolishly raised his arms and snagged his wrist on Kyouya's nose. He'd felt a rippling sensation at the touch, even if it was unintentional. His wrists must be quite a senstive spot, in more than one way...

"I think it's time to go now, everyone." He stuttered, none too grandly. The Host Club looked at him tiredly before nodding their heads weakly and getting up from their positions. Mori picked up Honey, who had fallen asleep, but had insisted that he kept the DDR game on for Usa-chan to play. Mori turned the game off and loped slowly out of the room, Honey slung over one shoulder and Usa-chan over the other. Kaoru yawned, refusing to budge from underneath Hikaru. His twin, however, moved and jarred him awake, if only slightly.

"Ngargh...go 'way," Kaoru mumbled, waving Hikaru's tugging hands away with his own and then throwing an arm over his eyes, "'M tired." Sighing, Hikaru poked his twin in the ribs gently.

"I figured, but if you don't move I'll have to carry you to the car bridal style."

Kaoru peeked out from under his arm. "You wouldn't dare."

A raised eyebrow and devilish smirk from Hikaru didn't need words, but he said, "You wanna bet?" With no warning whatsoever, he pounced and wrapped his arms securely around Kaoru before lifting him easily off the couch. He squealed loudly, his arms instictively going around Hikaru for more balance, causing the carrier to smirk widely. Hikaru started for the door.

"Let's go home and...sleep." Hikaru said suggestively and staring Kaoru in the face, making him blush crimson. He sighed and shrugged.

"Whatever. But I really _am_ tired."

"Oh, you'll know the definition of 'tired' when I'm done with you."

A gasp was heard as the pair walked out the door, one in the other's safe, warm arms. Tamaki would have been disturbed if they hadn't already come out to the club and also if he wasn't so _jealous_.

He sighed quietly and was about to leave the room too. He doubled back again when he figured he should tell Kyouya that they were going now. Tamaki's feet dragged a bit as he also thought about his somewhat forbidden feelings towards his best friend. Kyouya would never truly love him as much as Tamaki loved him, would never do the things Tamaki wanted him to do.

He'd reached the bed now. Kyouya had managed to stay completely still throughout his slumber and, even more astonshingly, he'd also managed to sleep through the havoc that was surrrounding him. Hesitantly, Tamaki lifted his arm to gently jostle the Shadow King awake, wary of his bad temper.

"Um...Kyouya?"

_-TamakiKyouya-_

When Kyouya had reached the bed in a defeated fashion, he planned to sleep, no matter what level of noise reached his ears. But he just couldn't find it in him. Yes, he still felt tired and yes, he still wanted to go to sleep. But his mind was too swamped with thoughts that he wasn't sure he liked.

The exposure of Tamaki's skin had left him at the mercy of his suddenly over-active imagination. What would it feel like, to touch that skin, to hold that body without the restrictions of clothes? His thoughts wandered into even deeper water. What about when he was in the throes of passion? What would Tamaki look like before sex? Hungry and crazy for his touch...during sex - oh God, make his thoughts stop! – mindlessly clinging to him, his body wracking with pleasure and begging for more...after sex, basking in the after-glory of the moment, in his arms, sound asleep with a beautiful sheen of sweat coating that godly body...

Kyouya's fist clenched in the sheets, his mind running wild and his pulse beating so loudly in his ears he didn't even notice that the noise around him had dimmed and then disappeared entirely until he heard a familiar timid voice and a small tug on his shoulder. He made a small 'hm?' sound.

"Um...Kyouya?"

Tamaki.

"Everyone's already gone...we're all going home, so, uh, you can have some peace now."

Tamaki was still here.

"I stayed back to tell you, so that you wouldn't be so tensely wound. You were sleeping as if waiting for someone to sneak up on you. So...you can relax now."

Tamaki was still here, and they were alone. Completely, truly, _utterly_ alone.

_Perfect,_ his thoughts whispered to him excitedly. Alone with Tamaki, no interruptions, no distractions and no Host Club. Alone. Together. His eyes closed slowly at the delicious possibilities.

"So...yes, I just woke you to say that. Bye, now. See you tomorrow, Kyouya."

Kyouya's eyes shot open when the pressure left his shoulder, alarmed that he was going to miss a chance like this. "Wait! T-Tamaki!" He cursed himself for stuttering, but in succeeded in causing Tamaki to stop in his tracks and turned to look at him. Its a shame, however, that Kyouya had uncharacteristically not thought beyond calling the blonde back. His mind was a blank as he met those pure purple eyes again.

"Um...yes? Did you want something else?" Tamaki's clueless voice, the voice of the innocent, whisped over his ears and he swallowed down a rather large lump that had formed in his throat. Kyouya licked his lips, not failing to notice Tamaki watch his tongue slip out as it did so. "Actually...yes, I _did_ want something else. Do you...do you, maybe...want to...sleep...over? Just for the night?"

He saw Tamaki stiffen noticeably, a small gasp emitting from his own luscious lips and his face bloomed into a pretty pink colour. And right then, Kyouya had to stop himself from pouncing as it was getting harder and harder to contain himself. He felt his own face blush as he realised how true that was. Tamaki rubbed his arm awkwardly and asked in a shy, embarrassed voice, "Why?"

It was a simple question. It should have a simple answer, Kyouya reasoned, but he couldn't just be frank and say he wanted to do quite improper things with the otherwise completely innocent Angel. Because really, he wanted so much more than a one night stand. He truly wanted...Tamaki.

If only he knew what kind of thoughts were racing through that Angel's head...

"Well...I'm not completely sure. But...I'm kind of...lonely. No one's ever here anymore. There's no one else except the Host Club for me, now. Everyone else has gone home to their own families...to their own...loves," - Kyouya's face, at this point, had lit up like a Christmas tree at revealing all of this to Tamaki; it was insanely out of character, - "I just want someone else here for a while. Other than the maids and servants. Please? Stay with me?"

_-TamakiKyouya-_

_Now that's a bit unfair,_ Tamaki thought inwardly, _How could I possibly refuse him when he's pleading like that? He looks so...so..._ He didn't bother finishing the thought and did nothing but nod his agreement to sleeping over. Kyouya smiled gently, feeling relieved that Tamaki had said yes, but also kind of down-hearted when he reflected on his words. He _was_ lonely, he realised. Why hadn't he noticed that before? With that huge house pretty much all to himself, how could he not realise that he longed for someone to be with him?

As he pondered these remarkable thoughts, Tamaki stared around him before his eyes landed on the couch he had risen from to announce that the club should be going now. Stepping towards it, he figured he'd sleep on the couch. Maybe it was normal for commoners to do that when they slept over at each other's houses and there weren't enough beds. Tamaki made a mental note to ask Haruhi about that later.

When he was almost to the couch, Kyouya had pulled himself out of his head and stopped Tamaki again. Peering at him, he asked, "Where are you going?"

Startled by the question, the tall blonde stuttered in a confused tone, "Um...t-to bed? I thought you wouldn't want me imposing too much, so I was going to sleep on the couch." Kyouya was waving him off before he finished his sentence. _Odd,_ thought Tamaki, _He seems to have stepped out of his strange pleading phase. What could he be up to now?_

"Tamaki, do you honestly think that I'd have you sleep on my couch? You said you were going to _bed_ not to _couch,_" He sighed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Take the bed. I don't mind."

Tamaki's face lit up and he smiled sunshine, moving back toward the bed. Before he sat down, however, he realised something. A very important something: Kyouya wasn't moving. He stood there another long moment as Kyouya stared up at him through his glasses, his dark eyes shining through. "What?" he asked, acting completely unaware of the situation he'd put Tamaki in.

"Aren't you going to move?"

"No. Why would I? This is my bed."

"But...you just said I could sleep here. You said you didn't mind."

"And I _don't._"

"Then why won't you-!" Tamaki cut his own sentence off with a loud gasp as he realised what Kyouya was implying. His face went red again, a darker and more apparent colour against his usually pale skin. But he knew it wasn't _just_ his face that changed colour – Tamaki's whole body darkened this time, setting him alight and his heart beat so fast he thought he'd changed into a hummingbird. But he also hoped he hadn't; hummingbirds can't do what he so desperately wanted to do with Kyouya.

He forced himself to breathe slower, hearing his breath come in rapid, harsh rasps of want. When he did stop, he wondered why he could still hear the noise before realising the sound then emitted from Kyouya before he, too, got control of his breathing. Tamaki, still standing over the bed, shifted his weight uncomfortably as he stared into his best friend's face, void of emotion in every aspect of his face except his eyes; they were wildly active and confused, begging him to comply and stay with him in the same bed, viciously warding him away from him and back to the couch; wanting so badly to touch every part of him and yet also forcing himself to want to hate the thought of it.

"Please...stay with me."

There was no other path Tamaki could take. Yes, Kyouya may regret it in the morning and completely crush his heart, but when would he have another chance like this?

"...ok," he squeaked.

Warily, Tamaki sat gently on the bed; God, he was so scared to even just jostle the sheets! With his purple orbs still connected to the eyes of his love, he moved next to Kyouya and crawled under the bed covers. He found that the soft, puffy covers actually soothed him a bit, providing a small defense from the rampaging feelings threatening to overwhelm him. While he was in the covers, he realised he didn't have any sleeping gear. Without really thinking about it, he started to unbutton his shirt absentmindedly before he heard an uncomfortable sound come in Kyouya's direction.

Oh God, someone kill him! "S-Sorry! I forgot. I didn't think to bring my sleep wear a-and...well-" The dark-haired boy looked away, embarrassed, though he wouldn't admit it.

Sighing, he mumbled, "No, it's ok. I suppose you can...sleep that way if you want." He didn't add that he could sleep in his clothes and just borrow some of his own clothes in the morning. Reminded of the fact that Kyouya was still there, Tamaki was a bit hesitant when stripping his shirt, but he reasoned it was so contrary to what he'd done only a few odd hours ago, and that was also in front of Kyouya, so why was this any different?

With that thought, the shirt came off, which left him in just his shorts. He figured he'd better leave them on.

He shimmied down into the covers, taking in the scent and breathing deeply. It was so odd how the big bed was actually quite comforting, easing his nerves and even letting him grow kind of sleepy. He yawned and Kyouya turned out the light.

_-TamakiKyouya-_

At the sight of more skin, Kyouya had to turn off the light. It was almost too much to bear. When the light was switched off, he placed his glasses on the table next to his bed and tucked himself into bed.

Though they were at least on the edges of the bed trying to avoid touching the other, the tense awareness of the other was rolling off each in waves. Kyouya thought he'd never get to sleep like this, so as he waited, he contented himself in thinking, wishing he had his notebook with him to write everything down.

He wondered what Tamaki was thinking at the moment; probably nothing. He must be asleep, judging by how quiet he was. Kyouya rubbed his eyes and sighed softly, feeling the bed shift beneath him as Tamaki shifted too, obviously _not_ asleep. He couldn't help it; he started thinking about the blonde in those confusing ways again.

He desperately wanted the eccentric, purple-eyed boy under him _now._

Clenching his jaw, he rolled over, his left foot accidentally brushing Tamaki's leg. The touch made them both jump and he whispered, "Sorry," to the air, with another sigh.

An hour went by and neither had slept yet. They had both drifted on the edge of sleep, getting drowsy and floating slowly into blissful unconsciousness until the other shifted in their positions and brought them back to the world of the aware. Each time, they couldn't help but press their hands silently into their eyes and lie awake, waiting for sleep to try to take them again.

Tamaki was thinking as he waited; why had Kyouya asked him to stay? Saying he was lonely seemed reasonable enough, but sleeping in the same bed seemed a bit unnecessary...unless? That thought was immediately ejected from his head before it finished. Why would Kyouya ask him to stay in the same bed for that, of all things? Besides, he would've done something by now...wouldn't he?

Sighing, he turned over, this time to face Kyouya and, frustrated with all the waiting, he hesitantly reached over and touched his long fingers to Kyouya's slim back. Even the feel of it turned him on and he had difficulty controlling the want to trail his whole hand down the Shadow King's smooth back. The urge was so strong it even made him forget he was tired. Tamaki bit his lip to help.

"Uh...Kyouya? Are you asleep yet?"

He didn't have to ask because as soon as he'd touched Kyouya he felt him jolt into complete awareness. Kyouya answered with a strange catch in his voice. "No. I'm still plenty awake. What is it?" He turned over to face Tamaki, but when he felt his dark eyes on his exposed face, Tamaki lost his voice and only managed to speak slightly above a whisper.

"A-Are you sure this is ok? I haven't gotten any sleep yet and it sounds like you haven't either. Do you...want me to go back to the couch?"

"NO!" Kyouya almost shouted in his face and he went silent again as he though he'd offended him. "I mean...no, I didn't...I didn't mean to yell. Sorry." He took a breathe before continuing, "No, I don't want you to go. I've been thinking a _lot_ since...well, I guess for a long time now, even if I didn't want to admit it at the time. I want...really badly...to say something..."

Kyouya's throat clenched shut when he tried to go on. Could he really put it all on the line for something he wasn't even all too sure about? He _had_ been thinking about Tamaki a lot, even if it was just to complain about him and all the annoying things he did. But somehow, somewhere along the line, those annoying habits of his turned...well, just had a certain appeal to him. Kyouya almost couldn't bring himself to think it, but maybe...perhaps, he might actually _love_ someone.

_Tamaki..._

"Kyouya? What did you want to say?" The hope in Tamaki's voice almost compelled Kyouya to jump him right then and there.

The dark-haired boy sighed aggravatingly and rubbed his face roughly before sitting up and flipping on the light, blinding the both of them. Blinking his eyes quickly, he stared down at Tamaki, still buried in the covers of _his_ bed and of whom was squinting his eyes against the harsh light. "Tamaki, I...I've been feeling very oddly, lately. I think its something to do with you, but I'm not all that sure about it. I...want to act on what I'm feeling so badly, but...I don't want to scare you away."

...had he actually just said that? Yes, he must have; that must be why the blonde's eyes were getting wider with every word he spoke. Maybe they were the wrong words? Was he scaring him away like he worried about doing? Would he never again get another chance to-

"Kyouya? What...what _exactly_ are you saying?"

As Kyouya took another deep breathe and let it out, he took the leap. He risked everything; his mind, his love, his heart and soul – _everything_ – for the chance to love Tamaki.

"Tamaki...what I'm trying to say is...I...think I m-might...just might...love you?" He didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but he was so uncertain and nervous and worried about what the blonde eccentric would say, he felt he would faint. He wasn't used to being so flustered, or so emotionally strained. The pressure was amazingly tense and he had to rub his temples at an effort to reduce an oncoming headache.

_-TamakiKyouya-_

The silence was loud in the room. It screamed in Tamaki's ears, but he heard perfectly what Kyouya had said.

_I think I just might love you..._

He loved him. Did he? That's what he'd said...did he mean it?

_I _think_ I just _might_ love you..._

Was that the same as 'I love you?' Was it different? If it was, was there a possibility that he could make it certain or impossible? Tamaki's blonde head spun with an overwhelming dizziness and he thought he was going to pass out.

_I think I just might love you...I think I love you...I love you..._

"You love me?" he squeaked out through his tightly-pressed lips. His eyes were wide with shock, the unexpectedness of the confession rendering his grand voice to no more than a volumeless whisper. If he weren't already lying down, Tamaki was sure he would have collapsed from his knees quaking so much. He cleared his throat and tried the words again, "You...love me?"

He sat up, startled, when Kyouya threw his arms up, exasperated and jumped out of bed, starting to pace.

"If love means that I think about you and want you around all the time, then yes. If love means that I want to be with you all day, every day, for the rest of my life, then yes. If love means that I'm feeling confused as hell and don't know what in the world I am doing, then yes, I love you, Tamaki, and if you don't like it, then _tough luck!_ I _love_ you anyway!"

His voice was loud as he stomped around the room, his eyes darting everywhere except to Tamaki, afraid that he was going to lose his train of thought if he were to look at him. He needed to get this all off his chest right now. Because the truth was that even though he'd told himself that he wasn't sure, he knew deep down that he had been thinking about this for a long time, if not unconsciously. Kyouya plopped down at the foot of the bed, feeling a bit cold now that he had cooled down some.

He couldn't meet Tamaki's eyes yet.

After another shorter silence, he heard the sound of shifting behind him and knew Tamaki was getting up. Getting up to leave, maybe? Sighing, he felt an ache start to spread throughout him, the core of it starting at his chest, somewhere around where his heart was. He'd gambled with it, and he'd lost.

Figures. The one time he takes a chance and he ends up losing everything.

He started to get up from the bed to perhaps try and salvage what was left of his and Tamaki's ruined friendship, when he felt long, sinewy arms wrap around his frame, startling him into stillness.

"Kyouya..." Came Tamaki's oddly seductive voice, tickling his ear and sending a jolt through his body, "You also said you wanted to act on what you were feeling. _So badly,_ you said. What did you want to do, Kyouya? C'mon, you can tell me."

Stunned, Kyouya unthinkingly told the truth. "I want you. To feel, to touch...to be mine. Right now. This instant. I want you." He finally turned his head to stare into Tamaki's wide, beautiful eyes. Passion shone through and a mindless need to just be with him overtook every sense. He couldn't take the arousal anymore.

Kyouya pounced.

Tamaki unexpectedly let out a giggle as he toppled over, Kyouya pressing him into the bed. Instead of being a burden, he found that the weight was comforting, secure, in a way. He brought his arms up and squeezed the Shadow King to him like he'd only been able to dream of doing. He breathed in the heavely scent of him, almost crying at the reality of it. Finally, what he'd always dreamed of was happening! A passing thought put a small doubt in his mind that maybe he _was_ dreaming...

All doubts were erased when Tamaki felt something foreign press against his thigh.

_Yes,_ he thought, smiling, _Far too realistic to be a dream._

"Tamaki? Does this mean you...?" Tamaki's smile broke out into a full grin, showing off perfectly straight, white pearls and sucking the breath from Kyouya as he witnessed first-hand the power of the Host King's smile.

"Yes. I love you too, Kyouya. Since...I don't know how long. I thought you didn't feel the same...you love me." His voice broke and the true realisation hit. Tears pooled in his eyes as it sunk in all the way, through to his soul. He felt soft fingers brush away his happy tears.

"Yes, I love you. And you love me."

"Oh, always. Always." Tamaki leaned up and instictively brushed his nose all the way up Kyouya's neck, starting at the base and stretching up further to his jaw line. Kyouya's eyes unfocused and he slowly took in a breath at the sensual feel of it. He looked down at the blonde, saying nothing and everything at the same time and, in one swift, quick motion, he dropped his head and they connected.

The kiss was gentle and soft; a perfect first kiss. Their lips moved against the other's hungrily, wanting the moment to last longer. The electric chemistry between them was rendering them breathless but compelling them to continue. Kyouya pulled away first, dragging air into his lungs. Tamaki, unsatisfied, began tugging at Kyouya's shirt, his hands gliding up his chest and back down again. He popped the buttons one by one as Kyouya looked longingly at the sweet curve of Tamaki's neck. Without thinking much on it, he leaned down and started kissing him again, beginning at the blonde's nose and kissing a path along to his lips, travelling downward still along his jaw line and letting his lips rest on the equisite neck.

He heard Tamaki moan as he got to the last button and his shirt swayed open, his cologne washing over the blonde, enveloping him entirely. Kyouya refused to leave Tamaki's sensual neck, sucking and nipping gently and making it near-impossible for him to finish his job. Shaking with pleasure, the squirming blonde slipped his lover's arms through his shirt sleeves, eager to be rid of the annoying clothes. He flung the shirt away from them, not caring where it landed.

Kyouya lifted his head from the dark spot of purple he'd left on Tamaki's neck and Tamaki leaned up to ravish his lips again. At the same time, Kyouya was working Tamaki's shorts down his hips, his hands trembling in excitement and anticipation. He lifted himself off him and stripped him of his shorts before gently placing himself back where he was, straddling the panting blonde. Following pure insticts, Kyouya gave an experimental twist of his hips and relished in the sound of Tamaki's pleasured gasp.

He breathed in with him, closing his eyes, which were clouded with want and love. Tamaki didn't want to wait anymore; he started moving into a sitting position with the raven-haired boy hovering above him and began rapidly unbucklling his belt buckle, letting his own hands hover above a particular spot as he worked it out. The belt came off and Tamaki slowly unzipped Kyouya's pants, staring straight into his dark eyes as he did so. Kyouya started kissing Tamaki again, pressing him into the bed again.

Moaning again, Tamaki lifted his legs up and hooked a toe through a belt loop in Kyouya's pants, dragging it down impatently. Chuckling softly, Kyouya stretched out his own legs and let Tamaki hook another toe through a loop on the other side of his hips, successfully getting Kyouya's pants down to his ankles. He did the rest by kicking them off.

Aware that they were very close to doing something they had both wanted to do in a very long time, Tamaki gave a small, hesitant whimper, both wanting Kyouya in him that instant and at the same time feeling scared at what was to come. Not letting himself think about it, he whispered, "I love you," with a gentle kiss on Kyouya's nose before lifting his hips ever-so slightly off the bed to meet the other's. He rubbed against him in a slow, rhythmic manner, the fright disappearing from his mind as a dull tingling started brewing in a spot deep inside him. He rubbed harder, for just a miniscule second, and earned a husky moan from the boy above him.

Kyouya softly walked his fingers down Tamaki's neck, down past his chest and belly button and rested on the hem of the blonde's underwear. The article of clothing came of with a whoosh and without warning. Tamaki shuddered at the soft breeze carressing his bare skin, as well as the hot touches from Kyouya seemingly coming from everywhere. Free for Kyouya's viewing, he felt suddenly self-conscious of his body, even though he'd believed, all the way up until this moment, that his body was perfect. He tried to close his legs, but the dark-haired boy wouldn't have that. He nudged his legs open again, crawling back up to him and whispering in his ear.

"You're perfect. I love you...so much." He murmured, kissing his lips again. Tamaki really looked beautiful. The light illuminated the room effectively and allowed his eyes to see into every nook and cranny, every inch, every part of Tamaki's precious body. He only hoped he wasn't drooling at the wonderful sight. With another jolt, he remembered thinking something earlier, about what Tamaki would look like before, during and after he'd made love. He wanted to remember what he'd looked like the first night they had made love.

"Wait." He gasped, leaving a pouting Tamaki briefly to reach up and pick up his cellphone, situated on his bedside table. Quickly, he had the camera function on and held it away to fit as much of Tamaki into the frame as possible. He only smiled at the questioning look in the blonde's eyes. "Say cheese, Tamaki."

"Cheese!" Tamaki unconsciously put on a very sexy look and when the picture came up, Kyouya almost burst. He looked up.

"Beautiful." He placed his phone where he could easily reach it and went back to Tamaki.

Reassured in Kyouya's truthful words and his self-esteem raised by the camera, the blonde's hands immediately flew to the other's underwear, actually annoyed that it was still there. He wanted to feel _everything_. Pushing them down roughly, he didn't really think about what they covered until they, too, were gone. He stared for a moment as Kyouya's face turned a light pink at the attention being given to his member. A small, worried sound emitted from his throat and he asked, "Is everything ok?"

Purple eyes shot upward to meet his and his voice reflected wonder and lust in a slightly dazed tone. "Yes...everything's fine. Perfectly fine." As he was saying this, his head was leaning forward to kiss Kyouya's stomach and his hand was shyly reaching out to touch him. Kyouya was unaware until the long fingers brushed him and he gasped again at the feel. Staring at Tamaki in those eyes was only turning him on more and he pushed Tamaki back down onto the bed, his member rock-hard against Tamaki's lower belly. Tamaki's hand was still wedged in between them and he curiously rubbed his hand along the length of him. When the only reaction was a loud swallow and sweet sigh of pleasure, he did it again, gently carressing his fingers around it and beginning a slow pumping motion.

This time he got more of a reaction. Kyouya moaned this time, a long, drawn-out and sexy moan. "Tama...ki" In answer, the blonde pumped a little faster. His hand was getting slippery and he could give it a good guess what the substance was. He used it to lubricate Kyouya's member and give him more pleasure, the pants above him becoming more rapid as he was pushed further to the edge.

Finally, Kyouya brought a hand up to cover Tamaki's hand, stopping him. "No...not yet. Not yet..." He landed on Tamaki's lips again, craving more contact before lifting his hand and presenting Tamaki with two fingers. He placed the digits at the edge of the blonde's puckered lips and he opened his mouth willingly. The fingers were sucked and well-coated in saliva as Tamaki moved his head with the task of lubricating Kyouya's fingers. His fingers felt like heaven and another soft moan escaped him as he added a third.

Tamaki let go of Kyouya's fingers with a lick of his tongue and Kyouya took to the next step. He manoeuvred his hand downward and placed his first finger at Tamaki's entrance. Before Kyouya began, he looked up to see that Tamaki's eyes were wide in anticpation.

"Are you ready?"

"...yes. I'm ready."

"You're sure? I don't want to hurt you..."

"Kyouya, I'm ready. I've waited too long for this to back out now. Can't you feel that? It's the perfect time...its the time to just _do_ it instead of thinking about it so much. Please...do it."

"...fine, but you tell me as soon as the pain becomes too much. I'll stop and wait and if you want, we can try again."

"Kyoooouuya, just _do it!_"

The finger was inserted. It felt strange inside Tamaki as Kyouya began a slow in-and-out motion. He was watching his face for any signs of extreme discomfort and Tamaki was determined to not let anything show. When he began to get used to the strange feeling of it, Kyouya added the next finger. This time the discomfort was more apparent and he frowned slightly as he was stretched. Kyouya's pace picked up a level and Tamaki's hips squirmed as he tried to get used to two fingers inside. When the third was added, he couldn't help a very quiet gasp of pain.

"Ahh..." Tamaki squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed onto Kyouya's hand. His pace slowed again as he asked if he wanted to keep going. Tamaki _demanded_ that he continue and distracted himself with kissing Kyouya again. The passionate heat that kept building between them was becoming even more unbearable, if that were possible, and after another while, the three fingers inside Tamaki were beginning to feel...good. When Kyouya noticed the look at Tamaki's face was no longer pained in any way, he explored a little, twisting his fingers to see if he could find what he was looking for.

"Kyouya..." Tamaki moaned into the air, "Please...now. Do it now. I want you. Now."

Kyouya gave up for the moment and pulled his fingers out. As he did so, Tamaki started to roll onto his stomach, but he stopped him.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't roll over."

"But... I thought I was supposed to?"

"You're not a dog, Tamaki," Kyouya said firmly, "And besides, I want to see your face, not the back of your head. Although, I must say, you do have a rather delicious curve of your back..." Smiling, he passionately glided his fingers over that curve, watching satisfactorily as Tamaki shivered and goosebumps rose on his skin. Not saying a word, Tamaki turned back over onto his back and Kyouya positioned himself between the blonde's long, luscious legs. He settled himself on top of him, mindful of his weight and pressed until his member was touching Tamaki's entrance, afraid to move any farther.

"Tamaki...you're sure?" He stared at him until the blonde met his gaze.

"Kyouya, I told you. I. Am. Ready." Tamaki kissed Kyouya to reassure the both of them, "I love you. I want to do this with you. Only you. You love me, right?"

"Of course."

"Then trust me. Believe me. I'm ready for this."

Taking a deep breath, Kyouya didn't say another word as he slowly – dear God, _very_ slowly – entered Tamaki, listening for any signs in his breathing that would suggest he was hurting too much to enjoy the pleasure. He forced them to go slow, not only to be mindful of Tamaki, but also he found that he was terrified himself. The tightness of Tamaki's body pressed in around him and he thought he'd have to struggle his way to get all the way in.

"Tamaki...relax. You're kind of...ah, hurting me."

Immediately, he felt some of the tightness relax and, with difficulty, he glided through to the end. Near getting through, the constricting body tightened again before Kyouya soothed it again with a sweet, sensual and passion-filled kiss that literally took Tamaki's breathe away.

Somewhere during the kiss, his hips had obtained a mind of their own and they gave a gentle, slow thrust forward.

Tamaki ripped away from the kiss, his mouth hung open in a mix between a sweet pain and dull pleasure. Kyouya pinned down pain as the dominant emotion and wanted to erase it entirely. He moved his hips again and this time, Tamaki cried softly, the pleasure increasing though the pain was still present.

Kyouya set a steady pace, letting his hips and member have a small amount of control as he waited for Tamaki's face to be freed of pain. Finally, he felt something and Tamaki cried out in a loud moan. Kyouya smiled and he knew he had found what he was looking for before. Just to be sure, he thrust again, this time with a little more vigour. Tamaki's moan was heaven to his ears, carrying with it the whisper of his name.

Kyouya picked his head up to look at Tamaki's face and almost lost control again. He let go of one of Tamaki's hands and grabbed his phone that he'd placed on the bed in easy reach. He was able to access the camera and positioned it, but he knew even before that he'd have difficulty taking this picture. Kyouya wondered how he was going to do this. He felt a tugging at his arm and looked down at Tamaki.

"Kyouya, really, what are you doing? You already took a picture of me before this. Why another one?" His pout was so adorable, it made him tweek his hips again, drawing out a pant from the both of them.

"Because, Tamaki," he said, sounding casual and simple, "I want to remember this very moment. What you looked like the first time we made love. I want to remember you like _this._" At this, he startled Tamaki with a surprisingly strong thrust to his prostate and Tamaki was so overwhelmed with pleasure he was only able to throw his head back and whimper out in ecstasy. Kyouya still had enough of his mind unclouded with lust to take the picture, but this time he didn't even wait to look at the picture properly before hurling the phone back on the bed, close to the edge, and throwing his hips into Tamaki again.

The poor blonde, taken completely by surprise as he wasn't expecting another thrill of uncontrollable spasps to come rippling up from within him and raising goosebumps everywhere, cried out and spurred another sensual thrust from Kyouya. He decided on a steady and slow rhythm, but before he gave himself entirely over, his foggy memory remembered another thing about Tamaki. Experimentally, he took Tamaki's wrists in his hands and spread their arms. He loosened his hold and, with his index fingers, he slowly stroked the blonde's wrists.

He didn't expect Tamaki to start jerking his hips against his own in reaction. This time is was Kyouya's turn to moan and he looked at Tamaki, who even in pleasure had a slight smirk on his face that made him smirk too. He pulled Tamaki's arms above his head and in turn, Tamaki strapped Kyouya to him with his legs, twining them around his slim waist and pushing up again.

Kyouya could not hold back.

He continued to slip in and out of Tamaki, adding more pressure on that one divine spot every now and then and listening to Tamaki moan in pure, euphoric bursts, his name sometimes being included in the middle of a moan. Drowning in Tamaki, Kyouya pounded into the blonde, releasing himself from all restraints as he realised nothing was hurting him now. Tamaki, unable to move his arms, rocked forward and nipped at his shoulder, at the same time helping Kyouya plunge deeper. His playful nip of the shoulder was rewarded with a sexy growl from the Shadow King and their lips met in a passionate fury of lust, love and desire.

Kyouya pushed Tamaki up against the head board of the bed and thrust into him again, bringing with it the loud 'thump' of the head board hitting the wall and another pleasured gasp from the blonde, equally loud. He let go of Tamaki's wrists and held his hips instead firmly, but gently, guiding himself in to continually hit that deliciously hot spot deep inside Tamaki.

"Kyouya...I think...oh God, Kyouya! I love you...I love you...!" Hearing him say that to him almost made Kyouya cry had he not already been preoccupied in the deepest of passions with his love. He wanted to love him more, give him the world, anything he wanted. Harder? Anything; Kyouya dove deep and hard against that spot, crying out with Tamaki until he thought his throat would close up. Faster? Anything; he increased the speed of their heated dance, driving over and over again into the mindless blonde until-

"_Tamaki!"_

With a near-crazed cry, Kyouya released himself and filled Tamaki's insides as Tamaki climaxed alongside him at the feel of Kyouya's pleasured release. He clung to him as he shuddered and pulsed, the last thrills dying away, but leaving a relaxed, clear and bright atmosphere for the two. They both lay there, covered in sweat, as they tried to recover themselves and get their breathing back to a normal pace. Kyouya closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Tamaki's, completely blissed out and murmuring in a light, quiet voice those three beautiful words again and again, "I love you...I love you...I love you..."

Tamaki hadn't realised he was crying until he felt something dribbling down his chin and a soft sob wretched his way out his parted lips. Surprised, Kyouya looked up at him and a worrying glint came into his eyes. Was it not what he thought it would be? Was he a disappointment? Or did he hurt him too much? It didn't seem that way before...

Tamaki was so overwhelmed by emotion and he was so exhausted he couldn't even hold it in. The emotions squeezed their way out his eyes in the form of salty tears. Why was he crying? He knew why; because he'd waited for this for so long and he was so happy. Kyouya loved him. It was the truth – even now, Kyouya continued to mumble softly to him how much he loved him. That was when the he lost complete control of the tears and an embarrassing sob worked its way out his mouth. Kyouya stared at him with worry and he stared back, tears still leaking from his eyes but a smile playing on his lips.

"Tamaki, are you ok? Did I hurt you? I'm so sor-"

"Shh," Tamaki shushed him by putting his fingers over his raven-haired lover's lips, "You didn't hurt me. You loved me. And these aren't tears of pain or regret. I'm happy...so happy. It's just overwhelming, that's all." A relieved sigh escaped Kyouya and washed over Tamaki's face, intoxicating him yet again. Kyouya lifted himself gently off the blonde and slid into place next to him, encircling him in his long arms. He tugged the bed covers over him, kicking off the sticky sheets that had been ruined by their steamy love.

Tamaki yawned cutely, making Kyouya blush and hold him tighter. What a night. What a hot, confusing, ecsatic, electrically _miraculous_ night. He'd remember it forever.

"Tamaki..." he whispered into his lover's ear, sending another pleasant shiver down the blonde's spine, "We're together now...right?"

"Well I should think so," Tamaki mumbled, his eyes closed peacfully and breathing slowly, "After how long we've been waiting, I think we deserve it. Unless...you don't want it?" His eyes snapped open suddenly, panicky and wide before Kyouya silenced the doubts with kisses on his eyelids and a loving smile.

"No, I want it more than anything. Tamaki...will you...be my boyfriend?" He laughed at the cliché line that sounded like he was proposing. Tamaki laughed with him, but he was still astounded by the words themselves. The tears almost started spilling over again, but he hid them when he held Kyouya close, pressing his face into his shoulder.

"Yes. Will you be mine?"

"Of course. Always and forever." A teasing smile spread across his face as he said the cheesy words, but the undercurrent of honest love shone through as plainly as if they had been said without the joking tone. They kissed again, but they were both too tired to carry the kiss on when they ran out of breath. After a while, Tamaki grew heavy in his arms and his breathing deepened, evening out to confirm that he was fast asleep in his lover's warm arms.

But Kyouya couldn't fall asleep, for some reason. He had this bizarre feeling that there was something else he'd wanted to do before falling into a blissful sleep with Tamaki in his arms. But he couldn't remember what it was; it was nagging at him to remember and wouldn't let him sleep until he remembered, but he was failing. Sighing, he thought back to his hot, passionate moment with Tamaki that wasn't even a half hour ago. The way Tamaki looked in his head made him want to make love to him all over again...

_That's it!_ Kyouya exclaimed, careful to say it in his head so as not to wake the sleeping blonde up. Slowly, he shifted his head and searched around the bed for his phone. Where was it? He hoped it hadn't fallen off the bed; he'd have to move Tamaki if that were the case. But there it was, balancing precariously on the edge of the bed, a little ways from his hand. Kyouya carefully manoeuvred himself so that his fingers were brushing the phone and, not without difficulty, he got the phone in between his fingers and pulled it away from the edge.

Accessing the camera for the third time, he positioned it directly in front of Tamaki, wedging it between them and getting a close up of his face but at the same time managing to fit in his shoulders and part of his arms. He pressed the capture button and waited as the photo was taken.

It was amazing.

Tamaki's sunshine hair fell into his closed eyes, brushing his eyelashes that fluttered slightly as he dreamed. The sweat of their previous activity had left that beautiful sheen of sweat he'd imagined before and accentuated his slim shoulders that had a very appleaing curve, much like his back, only somehow stronger, less feminine than the rest of him. But there was something else; a small, yet apparent smile graced those perfect lips, curving ever-so slightly upward. Tamaki was glowing, basking in happiness even as he slept peacefully at his side. Moving the phone from his face, Kyouya, wide-eyed, reached out in a dazed state and gently, lovingly touched Tamaki's porcelain cheek, marveling at the satin feel of it.

"Kyouya..."

Startled, he moved his hand away, but stopped when Tamaki frowned and leaned closer towards him; he was still asleep, it seemed. Chuckling quietly to himself, Kyouya scooted even closer to Tamaki aligned his nose with the blonde's and closed his eyes, finally able to sleep.

"I love you, Tamaki." He whispered sweetly into his ear.

"I love you too, Kyouya," The soft, unexpected answer made him stiffen and then glance up. Tamaki still had his eyes closed, but the smile on his face was much more defined now. His eyes peeked open, feeling Kyouya's probing gaze and laughed.

"One thing, though."

Releasing himself from the surprise, Kyouya smirked deviously and replied, "What? Is there something _else_ you want?"

"Yes." His own smile turned just as devious, and he said, "Next time, I'm taking the photos."

Laughing, Kyouya pounced on Tamaki again to kiss him, ignoring that slight throb of exhaustion.

He couldn't wait for next time.

_end_

"You didn't hurt me. You loved me." - I really loved this line, LOL! Gawd, I thought there was some pretty cheesy parts in here and I'm sorry for that (I got nervous in some scenes), but hopefully you guys will be able to overlook that. But just be nice when you review because...I'll let you in on a secret...THIS IS MY FIRST LEMON _AND_ MY FIRST YAOI! Haha, which is why I got nervous sometimes :) Not bad for a first try, if I do say so myself, but just in case its not, I'd love it if you were to go easy on me. I waited to say it was my first until the end because if I said it before the fic or in the sumary, I knew most wouldn't read it. People tend to stay away from others' fics if they say its their first lemons, so I tried to avoid that.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that, Zander. It was a killer embarrassment whenever I had to think along those forbidden lines, especially considering I have no experience, plus I'm a girl so I wouldn't have any clue what exactly I was doing and I was mostly following what everyone else was writing, haha. But you probably loved it anyway. And if not...ugh! That's the last fic I write for you! XD

Well, to everyone else who bothered to read this, reviews are welcomed though flames will be cried on and I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I, despite the nerve-wracking and mortifying parts that almost killed me with embarrassment, enjoyed writing it! :D

Byes!


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